Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Mike's Big Book of Songs

Mike's Big Book of Songs:

"you show your true colors, well I'll show mine
but I'll warn you now boo
my colors they're more red than white and blue
if you don't like it, go ahead and hit me
but i don't suffer fools and i don't play 'Dixie'
see that statue, that's general e. lee
they should knock him on his ass if you ask me
i ain't no gray coat as you can see
i don't suffer fools and i don't play Dixie"

More on the theme started over atConstantly Amazed, Yet Never Suprised
on the stupidity of those of the "southern" persuasion.

Now don't get me wrong, there is so much to love about the south. I mean there's the music. And no I don't mean lynerd skynerd! They suck! free bird sucks! I'm sorry about the plane crash, really!!! If it hadn't been for that fucking plane crash lynard skynard, however you spell it, would be where they really belong in rock history, playing in backwater holiday inns and county fairs....

I mean artists like Louis Armstrong, Professor Longhair, Boozoo Chavis, the Allman Bros. Willie Nelson, Doug Sahm, the list goes on and on. Writers? Twain, Faulkner, Tennesse Williams, Truman Capote, again the list goes on and on.

Food... some of the best in the world, period.

I myse'f am a child of the south. My great grandfather on my mother's side was an arkansas volunteer captured in the early days of the war between the states who spent the rest of it in a prison camp in maryland.

Imagine! a bunch of pantywaists in a state named after a crossdresser holdin' my great grandpappy again' his will.

And I claim a tie to a certain southern general, John bell hood, because if no other reason exists, if you find a picture of him and cover up his beard with your hand, he looks just like my dad, and more and more like me too. It's the eyes man, it's the eyes.

So, back to my original rant about the south and how it seems like it has been unfairly blighted to hold a disproportionate percentage of the IDIOTS!!! in the u.s.

Why is this?

This is my theory,

It takes fertilizer to make plants grow.

A large majority of the population in the south seems to be nothing more than shit for brains. This explains the real beauty that comes out of the south.

Stop and smell the roses. Just watch where you step!


SheaNC said...

You're right, man, about all the good things that are there, too. New Orleans! Anne Rice novels (before she moved away)! Real jazz played at funeral marches! Gratuitous nudity in exchange for silly beads! There's a lot to like. I am constantly amazed, yet never surrised, at the ironic combination of good and bad.

SheaNC said...

Yes, I said "surrised." I'm old.